Warmth surrounded me yet inside my heart was cold and heavy, a hard stone locked within. My mother had died a few months previously, many difficult things had occurred since her death, I was trying to deal with the grief mixed with emotions relating to the trauma of my younger years. There I was, beauty all around me, locked into thoughts about the past and fears about the future.
I walked a sad and lonely walk. Stopping under a tree in the shade my head hung low and my gaze was downward. That was the moment I encountered the gift. A heart stone laying in the earth. I picked it up and held it, turning it in my hand, squeezing it to feel its cold hardness. Immediately I was in the 'now' my senses were all attuned to the moment. I touched the stone, I saw the heart shape, I suddenly heard the trees, the birds. I felt a gentle warmth grow inside and I felt the heart of stone within. Compassion filled me as I recalled the work I had been doing on loving even the hurting parts of myself.
Offering my inside stone heart love opened my grief, tears fell, the reality of all around me opened. I saw the sunshine, blue sky, green hills. My thinking shifted so that I was no longer locked in the past or the future, I was in the moment. A choice point had opened before me, I could slip back into that frozen time space or ground myself in the now and BE.
Choosing to 'be' gave me the gift of remembering all the good times I had spent with my mother, enabled me to let go of the unknown future.
My Earth Gift was the realisation that in difficult times it can help if you find an object you can hold, something comfortable that you can feel without it hurting your hands. Try touching it, look at it. However ordinary the object is there will be different curves, corners, smooth or textured surfaces. Let you fingers examine the object, your eyes watch how the light affects the object. Try and focus on the object and that moment in time. Turn it in your hands, feel is it heavy or is it light........this can be very grounding as you engage with the present through your senses. You are not alone you always have your heart friend living within.
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Thank you for sharing this
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